Putting on a Scooby Doo movie is the truest form of gambling. You can end up with a great time with something like Scooby-Doo: Pirates Ahoy and Scooby-Doo: Stage Fright, or you could see Scooby-Doo and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon and Scooby Doo and KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery (The crossovers aren’t great). As I am the world’s foremost expert on the subject of Mystery Incorporated and their many endeavors, I approached the newest theatrical, well, almost theatrical, film, Scoob, with cautious optimism.
The first trailer made it look like it’d be a fun, enjoyable time. Then came the second trailer, followed by the countless ads on Vudu, which made my excitement tailspin. Then I bought, yes, bought the movie so I could watch it forever and ever. To put it mildly, this is the film equivalent of Scrappy Doo, because it’s the worst Scooby related material. I can’t put the pain of reliving the movie any longer, “pets” talk about Scoob.
So… the weird thing about this movie is that it’s not well written at all, but they do get a few solid jokes in there. A cop makes a joke at the beginning that is actually funny regarding property damage and the naming of dogs. I mean, sure, Broken clock and all that, but they do get it right a few times. And even though it’s stupid, I even laughed at the “F-Bombs” joke. The puppy version of Scooby Doo is also very adorable. I’m just trying to rack my brain for something nice to say about this movie. I suppose when the gang was all together it was alright? That more goes to the characters, but the story focuses way to much on the Blue Falcon, which takes time away from Fred, Velma, and Daphne. But for the brief time that Mystery Inc is together, they’re really entertaining.
Now, the bad. Where to start is a tricky question, but the animation is the easiest thing to pick on. Aside from one or two references that make it easier to pick out that it came out at least after October 5th, 2018, this movie looks and feels like it came out the same year (down to the cameos) as Over the Hedge, and that’s being overly mean to Over the Hedge. With the exception of one or two moments, Scoob looks incredibly rushed and without any passion put into it. The best way to describe it, is if you’ve ever seen those videos of animated films pre-lighting, as the movie just doesn’t look correct. Keep in mind, I watched this in 4K, so theres no way that a higher resolution would change it. The animation just looks terrible.
Another thing about this movie that sullies the good name of Scoobert Doo (His canon name, which this movie attempts to change), is the characters. Specifically one, by the name of Blue Falcon. Blue Falcon, who I keep on having to stop myself from calling Captain Falcon, is one of the most irritating people I’ve ever seen. I understand that some characters are meant to be ⁹ to mean more to the audience. Take Howard Ratner from Uncut Gems, a character who I went on record as saying infuriated me. Blue Falcon is so annoying, he makes Howard look like Chili Palmer.
Maybe it’s the fact Mark Wahlberg, known mainly for mediocre burgers that cost twenty dollar each, voices the human DMV. Maybe it’s the fact that this isn’t even the original Blue Falcon, but his cocky son who probably really liked Once Upon a Deadpool. But don’t think that Marky Mark is the only annoyance in this funky bunch of irritants. Nay nay, Tracy Morgan plays Captain Caveman, because Aquaman proved that prehistoric lands inside the Earth is in right now, and he was pretty annoying too. The same goes for the awful villain Dick Dastardly, played by… Jason Isaacs? Well, that’s where the budget for this movie went, because it definitely didn’t go to the animators! I feel like we need a name for when movies do that. I suggest “Dolittling”.
Now, lastly, it’s time to talk about might actually be the worst thing about this movie, the story. I’ve already brought up the fact that for the most part, Mystery Inc is split up for ninety percent of the film. I’ve also talked about the weird cameos from other Hannah-Barbera properties.
The ending, no spoilers here absolutely destroys the remainder of the film. I didn’t even have time to talk about the fact Cerberus is in this movie. It doesn’t matter, Scoob is the worst movie of the entire franchise, which is a not a light accomplishment at all. Keep in mind, this franchise also includes Scooby-Doo and the Gourmet Ghost, starring Food Network’s Bobby Flay. I suppose if your kid really loves the Scoobster like I did when I was a kid, maybe rent it. But if you’re looking for an actual quality time with Mr. Dooby Doo, both Zombie Island and “Mystery Incorporated” are on Netflix, and both of those are actually good. Heck, even Return to Zombie Island was better than this.