So originally I was going to open this article by making a dark oke about how Woody Allen and I are kinda similar because we both like old movies, are sarcastic and date girls born in the early 2000s, but after watching twenty two of his forty eight films, I found myself unable to continue on this project, and I feel the need to explain why. I started this project by watching the films that were commonly regarded as the best, so films like Annie Hall, Midnight in Paris, and other such films which aren’t on either list.
But then those got kind of bland and weren’t breaking into the top five anymore, so I decided to reverse the plan and pad the worst films list by watching the least liked Woody Allen films like Curse of the Jade Scorpion or Scoop. Those got even more bland and dull!
So twenty two films in, I called it quits, as I couldn’t bring myself to watch another movie about a man who hates himself and everyone else, cheat on/be friends with someone who cheats on their wife, with themes about how great New York City is, even though they admit that city still kinda sucks. I also knew that nothing would be better than the films I had already watched, and that any additions to the worst films list would have made me question my love of movies altogether. So, let’s get into the best and the worst Woody Allen films.
The time has arrived: my first visit back to the cinema since COVID-19 swept across the globe. It’s hard to believe that it was over six months ago that I was last sitting in the cinema, enjoying the magic of the big screen.
Nevertheless, the day has come, and with it, the release of Christopher Nolan’s latest epic, Tenet. As is the case with Nolan’s movies, a lot of fanfare accompanies their arrival and as one of the most exciting filmmakers working today, so it should. But how good is Tenet? Are we looking at another Nolan masterpiece?
And forgive me if I’m a little rusty, it’s been a long time!
Before I was the movie aficionado we all know and begrudgingly tolerate, I was a different kind of aficionado, one of DC comic books. Due to this, I find the DC Animated Universe very interesting, as they can tell the stories that I loved to read years ago like Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay and give the story it’s due, while the DCEU films about those same stories like Suicide Squad fall flat on its face, onto a set of stairs, tumbling down them and breaking every single bone. The DCAU has virtually led to this.
Aside from a few very interesting diversions into the multiverse such as Superman: Red Son or Batman: Gotham by Gaslight, the story of the DCAU has all been building to Darkseid destroying Earth with films like Reign of the Supermen and Justice League: War all coming to a head here. Last year showed us that it is possible for major superhero franchises that have been going on for years to end a storyline really well with Avengers: Endgame. In fact, Endgame did such a good job at this, that Apokolips War lifts a large amount of it’s story from Endgame. Continue reading →
Putting on a Scooby Doo movie is the truest form of gambling. You can end up with a great time with something like Scooby-Doo: Pirates Ahoy and Scooby-Doo: Stage Fright, or you could see Scooby-Doo and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon and Scooby Doo and KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery (The crossovers aren’t great). As I am the world’s foremost expert on the subject of Mystery Incorporated and their many endeavors, I approached the newest theatrical, well, almost theatrical, film, Scoob, with cautious optimism.
The first trailer made it look like it’d be a fun, enjoyable time. Then came the second trailer, followed by the countless ads on Vudu, which made my excitement tailspin. Then I bought, yes, bought the movie so I could watch it forever and ever. To put it mildly, this is the film equivalent of Scrappy Doo, because it’s the worst Scooby related material. I can’t put the pain of reliving the movie any longer, “pets” talk about Scoob.
No Time to Die was originally supposed to be released at the end of April. I had my tickets and everything. During my time in Quarantine, I’ve tried to satisfy my Bond craving in many ways. Watching the 1967 Casino Royale, which was actually the only Bond film that I hadn’t seen, listening to the Bond soundtrack while getting groceries, and writing my own script for a Bond film called More Time to Kill, but after the death of Honor Blackman last month, I rewatched 1964’s Goldfinger.
I have a ton of memories involving Goldfinger, for the most part involving the levels in the videogame 007 Legends, but it was always one of the few Connery’s that actually grabbed me. I also want to preface this review with the fact that I don’t want to use the word iconic too many times in this review, so I replaced every time I say “Iconic” with a song from Abba. So, to prevent us from killing more time, let’s start on Goldfinger.Continue reading →