“Has anyone got an aspirin?” Transformers: the Last Knight review

14859347_1040969846011519_1192281544_o-copyBy Adam Brannon. Shhh! Don’t tell anyone I told you this but I’m a little bit of a Transformers fanboy. As a child I had many of the series’ toys and adored the animated series. Heck, I even have an Optimus Prime bobblehead next to my bed.

So when director Michael Bay announced in 2005 that he was planning a Transformers live-action movie with Steven Spielberg as producer, my heart skipped a beat. 2007 came and the film was everything I wanted.

Fast forward ten years and the series has, rightly or wrongly, become a laughing stock for critics the world over. Derided for nonsensical plots, messy special effects and in some cases racism, it’s been regarded as one of the worst film franchises of all time. Does the fifth entry in the franchise, The Last Knight redeem the series somewhat? Continue reading

MM Retro Review: Chocolate

14886217_1040838869357950_851251975_nBy Rob Stoakes. So there aren’t any films out as of time of writing. No superhero movies, no sequels, no big launches for multi-film franchises, and you know what that means. Yes, it’s time to make up a flimsy excuse to talk about a film that’s more than a few weeks old. This is an action film, and there are action films out right now…

… sure, that will do.

It’s more than probable that you’ve not even heard of today’s retro review subject, Chocolate. It’s main claim to fame is that it was directed by the same guy who directed Ong Bak, and that’s the level of obscurity we’re talking about. This is a crime, however, because Chocolate has the distinction of possibly the most tasteful portrayal of autism in movies… and also the least tasteful. Continue reading

“A new franchise is (re)born” The Mummy review

14859347_1040969846011519_1192281544_o-copyBy Adam Brannon. It seems that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has kicked off a trend over in tinseltown. Shared franchises are all the rage at the moment, and why not. Marvel has taken over $10billion. DC has finally found its footing with Wonder Woman and Legendary are fusing Godzilla with Kong: Skull Island to create their own monster universe.

But for every success story there is a failed series that didn’t quite grab the cinema-going public with The Golden Compass and The Last Airbender immediately springing to mind. Nevertheless, Universal Pictures has pushed ahead with creating its own ‘Dark Universe’. Proceedings kick off with The Mummy. But how does this reboot fare?

Continue reading

“Waaaaacky” Colossal review

14886217_1040838869357950_851251975_nBy Rob Stoakes. Speaking as someone who is constantly marketing (go listen to my podcast and buy my debut novel) I can tell you right now that if there was a list of the worst things in the world, marketing would easily be in the top twenty, a space above the Suffolk Strangler and a space below a performance of Mamma Mia cast entirely with acid-spitting hornets.

It is a hideous thing, intruding on your lives, tricking and lying the gullible and vulnerable, and badgering people into buying overpriced products they don’t want. Though did I mention that you should listen to my podcast and buy my debut novel? Continue reading

“Here we go again” Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge review

14859347_1040969846011519_1192281544_o-copyI can’t be the only one surprised that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has managed to withstand five films. Created on a whim by Disney in 2003, the first film propelled Johnny Depp into the lives of movie fans like never before.

However, come 2017 and Depp’s star is sinking faster than the Black Pearl. After three pretty dreadful sequels, the cast reunites for Salazar’s Revenge. But does a change in directors herald a new and exciting path for the plucky pirates? Continue reading