After review “Fifty Shades lacking steaminess”

After movie posterOkay, I’ve said this four times this year so far, but this has gotta be the worst movie of the year. First, I said it for Captive State, then I said it for Hellboy, then The Challenger Disaster, and now, we’ve wound up here at After. How exactly did this movie come to be made?

For those who don’t know, this is based off of a One Direction fan fiction created on Wattpad (Which has previously given us movies such as The Kissing Booth) which eventually spun off into a five book series including one installment called After Ever Happy. So, somehow this turned into a movie starring Selma Blair from Cruel Intentions for a whopping five minutes and that kid who played Tom Riddle in The Half Blood Prince. There is no use in prolonging this any longer, let’s get into After. Continue reading

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum review “Have you ever heard exclamations of disgust and awe?”

John Wick 3 posterWhen John Wick came out in 2014, most people had written off Keanu Reeves as something of a Steven Seagal or a Jean-Claude Van Damme type, being big in the late 80s and throughout the 90s and now only starring in really bad movies, but after John Wick, Keanu Reeves is… well he still stars in a lot of awful movies like Replicas, but now he is also in an actually good franchise with the John Wick films.

The first film is an action-packed thrill ride which delves into a dark criminal underworld with a secret alliance of assassins and mysterious coins. The second film dives deeper into the world building and mythology of the John Wick Universe with learning more about the Continental hotel and the process of being excommunicated. Soon, we’re getting an entire TV Show about the Continental. Before getting into that though, let’s start with the third movie in the franchise, John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum, or as I call it, “John Wick and the movie with too many subtitles”. Continue reading

Tolkien review “We Get It! You’re Pretentious!”

Tolkien movie posterImagine a thin sheet layer of ice spread over a super deep lake. Now imagine that a person steps on the ice and falls through. When they try to get out, they can make some small dents, even punching holes through the ice at points, but at the end they remain stuck in the water. That’s how I’d describe Tolkien.

There is this thin layer of a really boring biopic about the life of J.R.R Tolkien, writer of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and that person is this enjoyable romantic war film that I think is what this film should have been. Heck, it’s not like the Tolkien family actually worked with the filmmakers, they actually disowned the film! Well, that’s besides the point. Let’s dive right into Tolkien. Continue reading

Baby Driver vs Drive: Celluloid Clash

Celluloid ClashTwo films, two usually silent main characters, two British-born actresses as love interests, and two super awesome jackets. Both Drive and Baby Driver are among my favorite films of all time, with their immense style, amazing direction, top-notch editing, and truly thrilling action.

However, the debate rages on about which of the two films is better, the 2011 Ryan Gosling vehicle or the 2017 Ansel Elgort film. Now, while I do have a preference, I decided to see examine them in five key categories to see what was truly the best. Those five categories are storytelling, acting, characters, visuals, and overall enjoyability. All there is left to do is compare the two, and now it’s time for our first ever Celluloid Clash. Continue reading

Shazam! review “Someone saw Jumanji 2”

Shazam movie posterAh, the DCEU, probably one of the most inconsistent franchises there is. They started off with the so-so Man of Steel, then the incredibly dull Batman V. Superman, then one of my least favorite films ever Suicide Squad, the overall decent Wonder Woman, the mediocre Justice League, and my personal favorite, Aquaman. Now they come to us with Shazam, which had a fantastic trailer.

They made a trailer which looked like it was bringing wonder back to the superhero genre. I was super excited, and when I learned of advance screenings, I bought my tickets immediately. When I actually saw it, I sat there for two hours and twelve minutes, and when it ended, I was thoroughly feeling like I was brought back… to a superhero movie from 2013, but I’ll get into that. Let’s just get into the movie as a whole. Continue reading