Noah – Review


NOAH (UK CERT: 12A)

Director: Darren Aronofsky   

Music: Clint Mansell

Stars: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Ray Winstone


Biblical epics never seem to translate well from paper to the big screen. Mel Gibson’s 2004 misfire, The Passion of the Christ, showed just how difficult it was to turn promising source material into silver screen gold.

Now, 10 years on from that, Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky breathes new life into the biblical genre with his take on the classic ‘Noah’ tale. But can his sixth attempt behind the camera reverse the ailing genre’s fortunes?

Unfortunately, the answer is no. From lacklustre special effects to dreadful acting, Aronofsky’s biblical epic fails from start to finish, with only a few key scenes lifting it above The Passion of the Christ.

Noah follows the story of the titular hero played by Russell Crowe as he sets out on a mission given to him by the ‘Creator’ to rid the world of its evil and to start afresh. Jennifer Connelly plays Noah’s wife Naameh and Ray Winstone portrays his arch nemesis, Tubal-cain.

The story is like the tale we all know, but on steroids. Gone is the subtlety of the bibleNoah-poster version and in its place is a stark environmental message as Noah tells his family and those around him that humans have destroyed the planet and that we ourselves, must be destroyed. From stone angels sent to watch over the human race, to the addition of numerous characters, Noah rids the story of its depth in favour of poor special effects and anti-climatic battles. It’s a real shame as Aronofsky has proven himself to be utterly talented behind the lens.

noah-jennifer-connellyThe performances are also well-below what we expect from such gifted actors. Emma Watson’s take of Ila, Noah’s daughter-in-law is laughable at best; a world away from the talent we saw towards the end of the Harry Potter series. Jennifer Connelly is outstandingly poor and Russell Crowe seems to be on auto-pilot as he spouts meaningless drivel. Only Anthony Hopkins leaves his fine reputation in tact as Methuselah, though he is in the film for less than 15 minutes.

Moreover, the best and most memorable part from the bible story, the animals, is completely misguided. Not only are they playing second fiddle to the ridiculous rivalry between Noah and Ray Winstone’s idiotic villain, they are rendered in such poor CGI, you never truly believe that they are there. The elephants and snakes in particular are very shoddy.

Thankfully all is not lost. Being a Darren Aronofsky film, Noah is a beautifully shot film. The cinematography is outstanding with stunning vistas of a huge variety of landscapes and the inclusion of an exciting Genesis featurette in the latter half of the picture are real highlights.

At 138 minutes Noah is a true bum-number and there’ll be lots of shuffling about in your seat as you struggle to digest each and every part of information the film shoves down your throat.

Unfortunately, a promising marketing campaign and some good trailers mask a film which never rises above average. The special effects really needed much more work and the acting is very poor. Only a few stand-out scenes stop it from falling below The Passion of the Christ as another biblical turkey.

Category

Scoring /10

Story/Plot

6

Acting

3

Special Effects/Cinematography

5

Soundtrack

7

Costume Design

5

Script/Dialogue

6

TOTAL /60

32

Overall: Noah sinks in a flurry of poor CGI and poor acting!

6 thoughts on “Noah – Review

  1. Another great review… Completely agree, some really interesting concepts from the Bible but they were few and far between among some idiotic additions such as the fallen angel monster things. Such a shame as had high hopes for the film.

  2. What a huge disappoinment! The story doesn’t make any sense, Rock people? Felt like I was watching Transformers. Noah is vengeful and full of idiocy, not the Noah any Creator or God would have spared!! Horrible waste of my 3 hours!

    • Thanks for your comment Carolyn! I completely agree. Considering Aronofsky’s talent behind the camera I expected so much more. Here’s hoping the next film you spend your money on at the cinema is a little better!

  3. Hmmm I really wanted to go and watch this. It sounds like the trailer was better than the film 😩 maybe nothing can live up to how great the originals are!

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