Gretel and Hansel review “David Lynch’s Nyquill”

Gretel and Hansel movie posterThis movie sucks. I know normally on this site we give a few snarky witticisms about the film we just watched before getting into what we thought about the movie, but this movie honestly doesn’t deserve it. Gretel and Hansel is an adaptation of the classic fairy tale with a dark and edgy twist, because it worked so well with the last time they tried it with Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, with a few big names attached to it including Sophia Lillis of It and Alice Krige of Sleepwalkers, and my gosh, it’s awful.

It is such an abhorrent attempt at an Oscar-bait horror film that I have no comedy left in me for this opening. So, let’s walk into the house (and then sit there for an eternity) and watch Gretel and Hansel.  Continue reading

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker review “Wait a minute, that’s it?”

The Rise of Skywalker posterI don’t think it would be remiss of me to state that The Last Jedi was one of the most divisive blockbusters in recent memory. Sitting at 91% on Rotten Tomatoes, it looks pretty good, but as we all know, that only tells half the story.

Sure, Rian Johnson’s space opera scored an overwhelmingly positive 91% from critics, but for audiences; aka Star Wars fans, it achieved just 43% based on over 200,000 ratings. On that scale, it is the lowest rated film in the series.

You see, Johnson had full control over the story and the direction of The Last Jedi after J.J Abrams introduced a new generation of sci-fi geeks to the Star Wars name with 2015’s huge hit, The Force Awakensand many felt that not only did it deviate too much away from Star Wars lore, it made some poor choices too. Continue reading

The Aeronauts review “More melodrama than meteorology”

The Aeronauts posterNothing sets the tone better for a movie than a bit of historical revisionism. The Aeronauts, starring Eddie Redmayne, follows the real-life exploits of James Glaisher as he embarks on a perilous adventure in the name of scientific advancement. Where the film departs from reality is in Glaisher’s co-pilot, actual companion Henry Coxwell is replaced by fictional hot air balloon pilot, Amelia Wren (played by Felicity Jones).

Armed with this knowledge before entering the cinema, I went in fully aware that I was in for more melodrama than meteorology. Continue reading

Zombieland: Double Tap review “It’s a grave new world”

Zombieland: Double Tap posterTen years is a long time in Hollywood. Ten years ago, to this day Avatar was yet to be released to the unsuspecting masses, with Titanic still reigning supreme over the global box-office and debutant director Ruben Fleischer surprised the cinema-going public with Zombieland.

Made on a tiny budget of just over $20million, it went on to gross over $100million globally and received unanimous praise. A sequel was widely expected in the years that followed but never materialised. That’s probably down to a few things; one being Emma Stone’s meteoric rise to fame, Jesse Eisenberg starring in some of the biggest and most celebrated films of the decade that followed and Woody Harrelson, well, being Woody Harrelson (that’s not a dig, we love you Woody).

Fleischer meanwhile went on to direct 30 Minutes or Less, Gangster Squad and Venom among a couple of other projects. The time for a Zombieland sequel came and went with the film’s core fanbase hoping that one day they’d get what they desired. Continue reading

Avengers: Endgame review “The MCU will never be the same again”

Avengers: Endgame posterI’m not going to sit here and tell you that Avengers: Endgame is the best movie of the MCU, because frankly; it isn’t. It’s not even in my top three. However, as a culmination of everything Marvel has been working up to since 2008, it has to be applauded.

From a technical standpoint, Endgame is like nothing else we’ve ever seen come to the big screen, with a cast that pushes the film to breaking point, characters we remember from movies past and some we had perhaps forgotten about hit the screen in epic fashion. But how good is the finished product? Continue reading