Bloodshot review “The least of anyone’s problems at the moment”

Bloodshot movie posterBloodshot is available to stream online in the UK (from £9.99) and the US ($20) via Amazon Prime Video

Oh, Vin Diesel. Why are you famous? Also known as the Americanized Jason Statham, replacing charisma with mumbling something-something family. This feels like a movie Statham would have been asked to do about fifteen years ago. Bloodshot, the story of a recently deceased soldier who comes back to life, is one of the three movies which won the honor of being in the last week of releases until mid May.

So, in a year still without a really good comic book film, does Bloodshot manage to fill the gap before we’re left without one for months? Honestly, the answer is pretty surprising, as I think with a few changes, this movie could have been great. So let’s discuss the movie that tens of people are talking about, Bloodshot.  Continue reading

The Invisible Man review “The Dark Universe returns (but this time, it’s good)”

The Invisible Man posterThe Universal Monster films are the original MCU. With their interconnectivity and recurring characters, these serialized adventures were our first look at franchises which could crossover. One of the characters who received multiple films is The Invisible Man. At time of writing, I’ve only seen the first two Invisible Man films, the first of which is an extremely goofy romp that’s enjoyable to watch.

The second is a boring mess that spoils nearly all of the goodwill the first one had. Nevertheless, for the start of the Dark Universe, we were told that it would include an Invisible Man film starring Johnny Depp. Luckily, because that sounds awful, the Dark Universe’s triumphant first firing of the Dark Universe Cannon ended up being The Mummy (2017), which ended up tipping the cannon over right into the offices at Universal Studios and blowing a hole through the office. Continue reading

Gretel and Hansel review “David Lynch’s Nyquill”

Gretel and Hansel movie posterThis movie sucks. I know normally on this site we give a few snarky witticisms about the film we just watched before getting into what we thought about the movie, but this movie honestly doesn’t deserve it. Gretel and Hansel is an adaptation of the classic fairy tale with a dark and edgy twist, because it worked so well with the last time they tried it with Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, with a few big names attached to it including Sophia Lillis of It and Alice Krige of Sleepwalkers, and my gosh, it’s awful.

It is such an abhorrent attempt at an Oscar-bait horror film that I have no comedy left in me for this opening. So, let’s walk into the house (and then sit there for an eternity) and watch Gretel and Hansel.  Continue reading

Best Film Couples of the 2010s: Top 5

Best Movie CouplesAh, Valentine’s Day, one of my favorite holidays. Crappy chocolate, endless disappointment, and all in a half-hearted attempt to receive a punch on the shoulder at the end of the night. With Valentine’s Day, we always receive a film centered about romance, so I thought I’d take a look at the best film couples of the past decade. I based this list off of some criteria, including sacrifices, spark, dialogue, and just general chemistry. That should explain the absence of Anastasia and Christian of Fifty Shades, Bella and Edward of Twilight, and Belle and Beast from Beauty and the Beast.

I also decided to limit this list a bit and not have couples which are hardly even together, so as much as it hurts to say, Simon and Blue from Love, Simon will not be featured on this list, because they were only together for about four minutes. So, let’s talk about the five couples (ordered from good to greatest), so you can convince your significant other to watch these instead of The Kissing Booth again. Without further ado, let’s take a look through the best movie couples. Continue reading

Like a Boss review “The equivalent of getting sprayed in the eyes with perfume”

Like a Boss movie posterI’ve lived a lot of places, and therefore, I’ve met a lot of people with different birthdays. I know someone that turned 18, and celebrated by seeing Avengers: Endgame on its opening night. I also know people that got to see movies like Knives Out, Toy Story 3, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. And what was I so lucky to get for my birthday? None other than the new Tiffany Hadish and Rose Byrne film, Like a Boss.

This is a film with some people that have shown they are funny in the past, Salma Hayek in The Hitman’s Bodyguard, Rose Byrne in Instant Family, and Tiffany Haddish in [no movies found], so the fact that this movie would be garbage wasn’t a given.

However, shocking everyone in the cinema landscape, Like a Boss is one of the worst films of the year. I know the year is still early, but seriously, I can’t imagine it leaving the bottom five, even with the sequel to After coming out soon. So, what could make a movie so bad that I declare it one of the years worth with another 48 weeks of movies left to come out? Well, come with me, and I’ll show you a whole world of garbage, with this review of Like a Boss. Continue reading