The best and worst Woody Allen films

So originally I was going to open this article by making a dark oke about how Woody Allen and I are kinda similar because we both like old movies, are sarcastic and date girls born in the early 2000s, but after watching twenty two of his forty eight films, I found myself unable to continue on this project, and I feel the need to explain why. I started this project by watching the films that were commonly regarded as the best, so films like Annie Hall, Midnight in Paris, and other such films which aren’t on either list.

But then those got kind of bland and weren’t breaking into the top five anymore, so I decided to reverse the plan and pad the worst films list by watching the least liked Woody Allen films like Curse of the Jade Scorpion or Scoop. Those got even more bland and dull!

So twenty two films in, I called it quits, as I couldn’t bring myself to watch another movie about a man who hates himself and everyone else, cheat on/be friends with someone who cheats on their wife, with themes about how great New York City is, even though they admit that city still kinda sucks. I also knew that nothing would be better than the films I had already watched, and that any additions to the worst films list would have made me question my love of movies altogether. So, let’s get into the best and the worst Woody Allen films.

Continue reading

The Platform review “It may make you think of a COVID-19 world, but we’re not all that bad”

 

The Platform movie poster

Like something from American Psycho (Mary Harron, 2000) and the film’s clever opening credits in which we see raspberry coulis dripping on a white dinner plate, looking a lot like blood. The Platform in a similar sense shows decadent cuisine that represents class structures and the violence that will prevail around these tiers. In its opening, e witness a high-class banquet preparation which is then contrasted by the people below, the ones who are imprisoned in a hole.

The hole is a strange high tech concept that is like solitary confinement but with changing inmates. We meet the main newcomer Goreng (Ivan Massagué) and an older grisly man, Trimagasi (Zorion Eguileor) who has nearly completed his journey and is no stranger to this setup. However, this is not a prison system as such, and we learn that Goreng has chosen to be here. As it is explained by the company’s Imoguiri, the familiar Spanish actor Antonia San Juan (All About My Mother), it is a “Vertical Self- Management Center”. Continue reading

Cats review “What a way to end 2019”

Cats movie posterIt’s hard to think of a better director to helm a live-action adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s iconic stage musical, Cats, than Tom Hooper. Already with 2013’s Les Misérables under his belt and receiving critical acclaim (and an Oscar no less) from 2011’s The King’s Speech, he’s adept in this field of film-making.

Nevertheless, Cats has been under much scrutiny since its trailers debuted earlier this year, with criticism being levelled at the unusual choice of CGI to render a roster of famous faces as the titular felines. But is the finished product a new classic or a cat-astrophy? Continue reading

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker review “Wait a minute, that’s it?”

The Rise of Skywalker posterI don’t think it would be remiss of me to state that The Last Jedi was one of the most divisive blockbusters in recent memory. Sitting at 91% on Rotten Tomatoes, it looks pretty good, but as we all know, that only tells half the story.

Sure, Rian Johnson’s space opera scored an overwhelmingly positive 91% from critics, but for audiences; aka Star Wars fans, it achieved just 43% based on over 200,000 ratings. On that scale, it is the lowest rated film in the series.

You see, Johnson had full control over the story and the direction of The Last Jedi after J.J Abrams introduced a new generation of sci-fi geeks to the Star Wars name with 2015’s huge hit, The Force Awakensand many felt that not only did it deviate too much away from Star Wars lore, it made some poor choices too. Continue reading

Jumanji: The Next Level review “A rare breed of sequel”

Jumanji: The Next Level posterSleeper hit: a term used in the entertainment industry for a film that plays successfully for a long period and becomes a big success, despite being a surprise to critics, audiences and industry analysts.

You could say that Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is the very definition of a sleeper hit. The first trailers were underwhelming, showcasing some ropey CGI, body swap comedy tropes and a lack of respect for the Robin Williams 1995 classic. Yet, in spite of all this, the film ended up grossing nearly $1billion worldwide.

Why? Well the film was actually pretty good. Sure, it wasn’t spectacular but a combination of a witty script, brilliant self-awareness and a roster of characters that were so well written they made Jack Black actually likeable, meant it shot straight to the top of the box office. Continue reading