Alpha review “A film that wasted great potential”

Alpha movie posterDoes anyone remember all the way back in July of last year when the trailer for this was released? Well, Alpha, the latest endeavor from Albert Hughes ended up having its theatrical release delayed by nearly a year, with it’s original September 2017 release being moved to August of 2018. I, among others, saw it after hearing loads of amazing things about it! “It’s heartbreaking, it’s so moving, it is so amazing!” Well dear readers, I did not feel the same way as everyone else and let me explain why.

Well, as always I’ll start with the good and there is some things the movie does really well. So to my surprise, they actually created an entire language for the tribe to speak. There is absolutely no English spoken at all which, while probably making some people who brought their younger children upset, thoroughly impressed me. Also, some of the cinematography was just beautiful, including the shot of the buffalo tossing Keda over and some shots of the night sky being stunningly gorgeous. Definitely one of the better shot films of the year so far, even if what feels as a good 25 minutes of it is just a big blizzard and you can’t see anything. Continue reading

The Predator review “A soft reboot that actually works”

The Predator movie poster1987; feels like a long time ago doesn’t it? In fact, most of you reading this I imagine weren’t even born way back in the late 80s. I mean, I was only a twinkle in my parents’ eyes at that time. But I digress.

What’s so special about 1987? Well, it was the year that Arnold Schwarzenegger kicked serious alien butt in the first Predator movie. Of course, the franchise’s now infamous fall from grace is the stuff of legend, and along with Alien, the original remains a true high point in the sci-fi horror genre.

Rebooted for 2018 with Iron Man 3 director Shane Black at the helm, The Predator aims to revitalise the public’s interest in this flagging horror franchise. Looking at Shane Black’s unusual resume, he seems a strange choice to take charge here, but we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. But just how good, or bad, is The Predator? Continue reading

The Spy Who Dumped Me review “Full of wasted talent”

The Spy Who Dumped Me posterI went into this film optimistic. Yes, the trailer looks terrible, and the script is weak and the plot is cheesier and holey-er than a slice of Emmental, but, Kate McKinnon. Aside from being the biggest, best and funniest in her regular slots on SNL, her big screen debut in the all female reboot of Ghostbusters (2016) firmly cemented her reputation for being a sparkling comedic presence. Sadly, even McKinnon couldn’t save this bland, unfunny, girls-gone-wild caper, delivering poorly-scripted lines by yelling and sticking out her tongue.

The comedy, or lack there of, isn’t the only problem with The Spy Who Dumped, a title that may have duped many an unsuspecting cinema-goer by being smarter than the film itself. The problem with this movie is that it strives to be so many things and doesn’t do any of them right. The violence is extreme and goofy, the kind you might see in an Edgar Wright movie except this isn’t an Edgar Wright movie and the gore just seems out of sync when set against the attempts of spoofy comedy. The film also takes tentative steps into rom-com territory that leads onto a number of bizarrely unfunny series of vagina gags. Director Susanna Fogel clearly had big ideas for this girl-power spy spoof romp, but ultimately fails to see them through. Continue reading

The Darkest Minds review “An exercise in poor world building”

The Darkest Minds posterWas I the only one who thought we were done with YA movies? Especially with Maze Runner: The Death Cure being released earlier this year, along with the final Divergent movie being cancelled, I thought the whole “movies based on books with an evil adult government stopping the young people in a futuristic setting” genre was over with.

However, I was wrong with The Darkest Minds hitting theatres in the U.S a few weeks ago. I was one of the few people to see it opening day and after seeing it, I can see why this has one of the worst openings at over 3,000 theatres of all time. I can’t sum up how bad this movie is in just a sentence, so I suppose I should jump into why this is one of the worst movies of the year so far. Continue reading

Christopher Robin review “A future classic”

Christopher Robin posterThe characters of Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet and Tigger are synonymous with the childhood of millions of adults across the globe. A.A. Milne’s classic creatures are etched into the memories of many, passed down through generations with tatty old story books and stuffed animals.

Their film history is a little more chequered. True box-office domination has eluded the little critters, until now at least. Rolling off the success of Paddington and its arguably even better sequel, Disney gets in on the action, the live-action that is, and brings Pooh and co to life in Christopher Robin. But does it work? Continue reading