Category: Film reviews (2016) (Page 2 of 6)

“Some messed up Wolverine sequel” Don’t Breathe review

12 October 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

Don’t Breathe review: by Rob Stoakes

UK certification: 15

If there’s one thing that the horror genre teaches us, it’s that disabled people are more evil than the hypothetical lovechild of Ernst Blofeld, Skeletor and an angler fish. Deliverance, Saw VI, Don’t Look Now, all of these films teach us that the disabled are to be feared and distrusted. When they aren’t asking you for help up the stairs, they’re stabbing you to death. Trick R Treat is the only time the disabled are at all treat sympathetically, and that’s only the one, and the rest of them turn into autistic murder zombies, which incidentally is also the name of my university black metal band. Continue reading

“A victim of its marketing” The Girl on the Train review

6 October 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

The Girl on the Train review: by Adam Brannon

UK certification: 15

It’s always refreshing to see a film released primarily for the adult market. We all loved The Hunger Games, but imagine what the series could’ve been like had the franchise been given a 15 or even an 18 certification.

And Fifty Shades of Grey may have its critics (me being one of them) but at least it appealed to those of us not interested in sharing cinema screens with rambling tweens. The finest of the adult genre? Well, that has to be Gone Girl. But now there’s a new kid on the block, ready to steal its crown. Is The Girl on the Train a worthy adversary? Continue reading

“A letter to Antoine Fuqua” The Magnificent Seven review

1 October 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

The Magnificent Seven review: by Rob Stoakes

UK certification: 12A

Dear Antoine Fuqua,

Mr Fuqua, or may I call you Antoine? Tony? I don’t know why I’m asking, you can’t respond to me. Tony, we need to talk. It’s about your movies. They’re not very good.

Now, technically, I will say that you’re competent. You know how to frame a shot clearly and carefully and all of the information the audience needs is clearly on screen at any given time, which in this day and age is a massive compliment. No, really, it is; you know that action scenes and actors should carry an audience’s attention without needing to be enhanced by dizzying, rubbish shaky cam. Continue reading

“Disaster with feeling” Deepwater Horizon review

30 September 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

Deepwater Horizon review: by Adam Brannon

UK certification: 12A

“Based on true events”. I can’t think of anything more disconcerting when I sit down to watch a film. When it comes to blockbusters inspired by real-life situations, the outcome can be a poignant movie that captures the heart and emotion of the episode – a la American Sniper.

Unfortunately, films in this genre can also be a disaster from start to finish with a story barely related to its real-life counterpart. You can forgive me then for going into Deepwater Horizon with an air of scepticism, but was it justified?

“Do Blairs Witch in the Woods” Blair Witch review

27 September 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

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Written by Rob Stoakes

Oh come on!

I thought video gaming was the realm of terrible, reductive sequel names, what with Thief being the fourth Thief game and Wolfenstein following on from Escape from Castle Wolfenstein 3D, but I guess 2016 is the year that Hollywood catches the same awful virus.

Jason Bourne was the first sign of infection, but now we have Blair Witch as the point it goes terminal. It isn’t even grammatically correct.

“Hello, Mrs Witch? Can Blair come out to play?” Continue reading

“No big bloomers?” Bridget Jones’s Baby review

17 September 2016 / Adam Brannon / 2 Comments

Bridget Jones’s Diary is a classic example of the perfect British rom-com. Upon its release in 2001, yes 15 years ago, it catapulted Renée Zellweger into the public eye and made household names of its other stars.

Its sequel, The Edge of Reason, on the other hand was a dramatic fall from grace, with a lowly 27% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Since then, the series has fallen into a dormant state with talks of another sequel doing the rounds since as early as 2004.

Fast-forward 12 years and the prayers of fans the world over have finally been answered. However, the comedy genre has moved on from the warm, fuzzy rom-coms of the past and in its place are the foul-mouthed female-led films of the present. But does Bridget Jones’s Baby get the balance right? Or is it a good decade too late?

“A teenager punching God in the face” Kubo & the Two Strings review

11 September 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

Adult animation, and I’m including anime in this, is very similar to the horror genre. It is a genre that is full of potential, has a loyal and dedicated fanbase, is a genre filled with many of the greatest films of all time… and about 99.9999999999999999999999998% is as tolerable and pleasant as sewage water being poured into a mouth ulcer.

The great animated films for adults made outside of Japan can be counted on your hands, and the ones made in Japan can be counted on the hands of any loved one you might have to hand. That list will include everything ever made by Laika. Ok, so they release a film as frequently as Haley’s Comet turning into a cheese wheel and they’re still child-friendly, but damn if those films aren’t worth the wait. When you start your existence as a studio with Coraline, you’re something us mere mortals are only allowed to appreciate in fleeting glimpses. Continue reading

“Put the horror back in horror” Lights Out review

5 September 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

Looking back on it, I’m not so sure that I liked It Follows as much as I thought I did. While it is tense and much smarter than the average modern horror, there’s not much in the way of scares and it’s got a very ho-hum anti-climax.

Aside from that really good beach scene, it’s mostly an inferior version of Under The Skin. And yet if you read reviews or went on the internet, It Follows was the Second Coming of Horror Christ. The Witch was pretty similar, a film I enjoyed but thought was just good being lauded as a masterpiece. Why? Continue reading

“Utterly ridiculous” Sausage Party review

3 September 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

Just when Sharknado: the 4^th Awakens made you think film-making couldn’t get any more ridiculous, a movie like Sausage Party comes along to remind you that Hollywood can always go that one step further to mind-boggling peculiarity.

Of course, that’s not always a bad thing, there have been countless weird and wacky films over the years that have gone on to become cult classics – look at Kick-Ass or even Pulp Fiction for examples of that. But for every Pulp Fiction there’s a Sharknado. So is Sausage Party good weird or as stale as a month-old bagel? Continue reading

“Deathly dull” The Purge: Election Year review

26 August 2016 / Adam Brannon / 0 Comments

The Purge series has set itself as one of the front-runners in modern horror. The first film, starring Ethan Hawke, was a huge success, bringing with it one of the best stories seen in the genre for decades.

Its successor, Anarchy, was warmly received – namely for its greater focus on the night of crime itself, rather than the plight of one family. Naturally, another sequel was always going to be on the cards and Election Year continues the franchise. But does it continue the positive trend? Continue reading