World Bloggers Awards Nominee 2023
SPECTRE (UK Cert 15)
Director: Sam Mendes
Music: Thomas Newman
Starring: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ralph Fiennes
Written by Rob Stoakes
Dear reader, what makes you love a film?
What is it about certain films on your DVD shelf that hooked you? When you search for torrents, what is it that you’re looking for? What is it on movie posters that makes you scour the floor nearby to see if anyone’s accidentally dropped their cinema ticket? Continue reading
Written by Adam Brannon
Can you imagine Vin Diesel as a peacekeeper in a time of witch suppression? I admit when I first heard the premise of The Last Witch Hunter I was a little sceptical of just how the Fast & Furious star would cope with such a change of role.
However, my concerns were quickly brushed aside during the first ten minutes of this unusual action adventure. But is the rest of the movie as good as its leading man? Continue reading
CRIMSON PEAK (UK CERT: 15)
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Music: Fernando Velázquez
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston
Written by Rob Stoakes
If you describe Tom Hiddleston to someone who’s never seen him before, they’d probably never think of him as an incredibly sexy man.
Ratty hair, pale skin, looks like a 12 year old boy, often playing physically unimposing villains who regularly get beaten up by drunk scientists and WWII veterans on steroids, and burdened with the single stupidest headgear in all of comic book history, and no, Loki’s antlers do not translate to the big screen at all. On paper, Tom Hiddleston has all the sex appeal of a stamp collecting snail. And yet whenever he’s on screen, Marvin Gaye starts playing in the back of your mind, if you can hear it over the sounds of women screaming and fainting, and all you want is for Tom Hiddleston to brush your cheek with his supple, ivory fingers as his lips connect with your own, and you fall back, breathless, into his strong, comforting arms as he rests you on the bed and… Continue reading
PAN (UK CERT: PG)
Director: Joe Wright
Music: John Powell
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Amanda Seyfried, Garrett Hedlund
Written by Adam Brannon
The mesmerising story of Peter Pan has been told by numerous directors, playwrights and novelists over the years with Disney’s brilliant animation being one of the highlights in a series of standout moments.
Now, the story receives a very 21st-century makeover in Pan, but does director Joe Wright’s brooding reimagining sink or swim? Continue reading
THE SARKEESIAN EFFECT (UK CERT: Unrated)
Director: Davis M.J. Aurini
Music: Jorden Owen
Starring: Davis M.J. Aurini, Jorden Owen
Written by Rob Stoakes
The Gamergate controversy last year was long, boring and incredibly stupid. It is the only thing in all of human history where to know more about it will make you less intelligent. Neither side was particularly worthy of support, with feminists making hyperbolic generalisations of all video game players being misogynists, and video game players doing their absolute utmost to prove them correct.
People were driven from their homes by death threats, some lost and got whole new jobs just from moaning, the seas boiled as the skies ripped open to hear the voice of God himself say “lol get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich whore, hashtag notmyshield.” Continue reading
MACBETH (UK CERT: 15)
Director: Justin Kurzel
Music: Jed Kurzel
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Sean Harris
REVIEW AUTHOR: Rob Stoakes
Copyright: StudioCanal.
Film adaptations of Macbeth must do wonders for the artificial fog business. There you are, only making money for if anyone wants to set a scene in a swamp or some alien planets if the film is made on the cheap and can only afford to go to the local quarry, and then someone decides to take a shot at the Scottish Play and you’re rolling in dough. Even if it’s a transposition of Macbeth to another setting, like Akira Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood, it seems you can’t get enough fog into Macbeth.
This most recent adaptation, helmed by Justin Kurzel, seems to be the foggiest yet, especially towards the end. At the climax, Burnham Wood is burning, and the fog is so thick that all the actors are just blood-red silhouettes. It’s even foggy indoors at times. It’s a wonder anyone in Scotland can actually see what they’re doing at all. Continue reading
THE MARTIAN (UK CERT: 12A)
Director: Ridley Scott
Music: Harry Gregson-Williams
Starring: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels
REVIEW AUTHOR: Adam Brannon
Copyright: 20th Century Fox Film Corporation
It’s safe to say that Ridley Scott knows his way around a camera. From Alien to Gladiator, the director has brought to the silver screen some of the greatest films of all time, heck even Prometheus wasn’t that bad in a muddled kind of way.
Now, after the underwhelming Exodus: Gods & Kings, Scott returns to the director’s chair doing what he does best, sci-fi. But is The Martian as good as his earlier works? Continue reading
EVEREST (UK CERT: 12A)
Director: Baltasar Kormakur
Music: Dario Marianelli
Starring: Jason Clarke, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emily Watson
REVIEW AUTHOR: Adam Brannon
Copyright: Universal Pictures
The 1996 Everest disaster remains one of the greatest true stories to have ever been told. From made-for-TV movies to award-winning documentaries, it appears that audiences simply cannot get enough of this tale of survival.
Now, Universal Pictures ends its record-breaking summer campaign with Everest, a high-budget thriller based on those events in 1996. But does it get the balance between all-out spectacle and human characterisation spot on? Continue reading
LEGEND (UK CERT: 18)
Director: Brian Helgeland
Music: Carter Burwell
Starring: Tom Hardy, Emily Browning, Christopher Eccleston
REVIEW AUTHOR: Rob Stoakes
Copyright: Studio Canal
This supposedly “based-on-a-true-story” telling of the story of the Piranha Brothers is easily the worst film ever made, because of its obvious incorrect events. Spiny Norman the giant hedgehog never turns up, Harry “Snapper” Organs is disguised as Doctor Who rather than Gloucester from King Lear, and Doug never once uses his trademark sarcasm. Zero stars out of five.
Right, now that the obligatory Monty Python jokes are out of the way, we can actually discuss Legend. This is similar to a previous film of this year, Southpaw, in that the main draw is a single performance. Or rather two; Tom Hardy as both of the Kray Twins. This is far and away the best aspect of the film, with the seamless effects and cinematography and Tom Hardy’s towering performances convincing you that Ronnie and Reggie really are portrayed by two completely different people. Continue reading
MAZE RUNNER: THE SCORCH TRIALS (UK CERT: 12A)
Director: Wes Bentley
Starring: Dylan O’Brien, Aiden Gillen,
REVIEW AUTHOR: Adam Brannon
Copyright: 20th Century Fox Entertainment
The Young Adult genre has, for the last few years, been dominated by Jennifer Lawrence and her imposing Katniss Everdeen, and as fans prepare for the conclusion of Mockingjay in November, they can whet their appetites for the conclusion of another YA trilogy.
The Maze Runner was a decent, albeit muddled attempt at getting the coveted young adult audience interested in another series and its sequel, The Scorch Trials promises more of the mind-blowing storytelling of its predecessor, but is it a success? Continue reading
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