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Category: Film reviews (2015) (Page 2 of 7)

“Wearing its dunce hat proud” Spectre review

SPECTRE (UK Cert 15)

Director: Sam Mendes

Music: Thomas Newman

Starring: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ralph Fiennes


Written by Rob Stoakes

Written by Rob Stoakes

Dear reader, what makes you love a film?

What is it about certain films on your DVD shelf that hooked you? When you search for torrents, what is it that you’re looking for? What is it on movie posters that makes you scour the floor nearby to see if anyone’s accidentally dropped their cinema ticket? Continue reading

“Enjoyable if forgettable” The Last Witch Hunter review

Written by Adam Brannon

Written by Adam Brannon

Can you imagine Vin Diesel as a peacekeeper in a time of witch suppression? I admit when I first heard the premise of The Last Witch Hunter I was a little sceptical of just how the Fast & Furious star would cope with such a change of role.

However, my concerns were quickly brushed aside during the first ten minutes of this unusual action adventure. But is the rest of the movie as good as its leading man? Continue reading

“But he’s such a dreamboat, you guys!” Crimson Peak review

CRIMSON PEAK   (UK CERT: 15)

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Music: Fernando Velázquez

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston


Written by Rob Stoakes

Written by Rob Stoakes

If you describe Tom Hiddleston to someone who’s never seen him before, they’d probably never think of him as an incredibly sexy man.

Ratty hair, pale skin, looks like a 12 year old boy, often playing physically unimposing villains who regularly get beaten up by drunk scientists and WWII veterans on steroids, and burdened with the single stupidest headgear in all of comic book history, and no, Loki’s antlers do not translate to the big screen at all. On paper, Tom Hiddleston has all the sex appeal of a stamp collecting snail. And yet whenever he’s on screen, Marvin Gaye starts playing in the back of your mind, if you can hear it over the sounds of women screaming and fainting, and all you want is for Tom Hiddleston to brush your cheek with his supple, ivory fingers as his lips connect with your own, and you fall back, breathless, into his strong, comforting arms as he rests you on the bed and… Continue reading

“Where’s the magic? Where’s the sparkle?” Pan review

PAN   (UK CERT: PG)

Director: Joe Wright

Music: John Powell

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Amanda Seyfried, Garrett Hedlund


Written by Adam Brannon

Written by Adam Brannon

The mesmerising story of Peter Pan has been told by numerous directors, playwrights and novelists over the years with Disney’s brilliant animation being one of the highlights in a series of standout moments.

Now, the story receives a very 21st-century makeover in Pan, but does director Joe Wright’s brooding reimagining sink or swim? Continue reading

“Sucks harder than a hoover made of limpets” The Sarkeesian Effect review

THE SARKEESIAN EFFECT   (UK CERT: Unrated)

Director: Davis M.J. Aurini

Music: Jorden Owen

Starring: Davis M.J. Aurini, Jorden Owen


Written by Rob Stoakes

Written by Rob Stoakes

The Gamergate controversy last year was long, boring and incredibly stupid. It is the only thing in all of human history where to know more about it will make you less intelligent. Neither side was particularly worthy of support, with feminists making hyperbolic generalisations of all video game players being misogynists, and video game players doing their absolute utmost to prove them correct.

People were driven from their homes by death threats, some lost and got whole new jobs just from moaning, the seas boiled as the skies ripped open to hear the voice of God himself say “lol get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich whore, hashtag notmyshield.” Continue reading

“Soaked in atmosphere” Macbeth review

MACBETH   (UK CERT: 15)

Director: Justin Kurzel 

Music: Jed Kurzel

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Sean Harris


REVIEW AUTHOR: Rob Stoakes

Copyright: StudioCanal.

Copyright: StudioCanal.

Film adaptations of Macbeth must do wonders for the artificial fog business. There you are, only making money for if anyone wants to set a scene in a swamp or some alien planets if the film is made on the cheap and can only afford to go to the local quarry, and then someone decides to take a shot at the Scottish Play and you’re rolling in dough. Even if it’s a transposition of Macbeth to another setting, like Akira Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood, it seems you can’t get enough fog into Macbeth.

This most recent adaptation, helmed by Justin Kurzel, seems to be the foggiest yet, especially towards the end. At the climax, Burnham Wood is burning, and the fog is so thick that all the actors are just blood-red silhouettes. It’s even foggy indoors at times. It’s a wonder anyone in Scotland can actually see what they’re doing at all. Continue reading

“Ridley Scott’s best film since Alien” The Martian review

THE MARTIAN   (UK CERT: 12A)

Director: Ridley Scott 

Music: Harry Gregson-Williams

Starring: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels


REVIEW AUTHOR: Adam Brannon

Copyright: 20th Century Fox Film Corporation

Copyright: 20th Century Fox Film Corporation

It’s safe to say that Ridley Scott knows his way around a camera. From Alien to Gladiator, the director has brought to the silver screen some of the greatest films of all time, heck even Prometheus wasn’t that bad in a muddled kind of way.

Now, after the underwhelming Exodus: Gods & Kings, Scott returns to the director’s chair doing what he does best, sci-fi. But is The Martian as good as his earlier works? Continue reading

“A by-the-numbers adventure” Everest review

EVEREST   (UK CERT: 12A)

Director: Baltasar Kormakur  

Music: Dario Marianelli

Starring: Jason Clarke, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emily Watson


REVIEW AUTHOR: Adam Brannon

Copyright: Universal Pictures

Copyright: Universal Pictures

The 1996 Everest disaster remains one of the greatest true stories to have ever been told. From made-for-TV movies to award-winning documentaries, it appears that audiences simply cannot get enough of this tale of survival.

Now, Universal Pictures ends its record-breaking summer campaign with Everest, a high-budget thriller based on those events in 1996. But does it get the balance between all-out spectacle and human characterisation spot on? Continue reading

“Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiinsdaaaaaaaaaaaaale” Legend review

LEGEND   (UK CERT: 18)

Director: Brian Helgeland  

Music: Carter Burwell

Starring: Tom Hardy, Emily Browning, Christopher Eccleston


REVIEW AUTHOR: Rob Stoakes

Copyright: Studio Canal

Copyright: Studio Canal

This supposedly “based-on-a-true-story” telling of the story of the Piranha Brothers is easily the worst film ever made, because of its obvious incorrect events. Spiny Norman the giant hedgehog never turns up, Harry “Snapper” Organs is disguised as Doctor Who rather than Gloucester from King Lear, and Doug never once uses his trademark sarcasm. Zero stars out of five.

Right, now that the obligatory Monty Python jokes are out of the way, we can actually discuss Legend. This is similar to a previous film of this year, Southpaw, in that the main draw is a single performance. Or rather two; Tom Hardy as both of the Kray Twins. This is far and away the best aspect of the film, with the seamless effects and cinematography and Tom Hardy’s towering performances convincing you that Ronnie and Reggie really are portrayed by two completely different people. Continue reading

“A vast improvement” Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials review

MAZE RUNNER: THE SCORCH TRIALS  (UK CERT: 12A)

Director: Wes Bentley  

Starring: Dylan O’Brien, Aiden Gillen, 


REVIEW AUTHOR: Adam Brannon

Copyright: 20th Century Fox Entertainment

Copyright: 20th Century Fox Entertainment

The Young Adult genre has, for the last few years, been dominated by Jennifer Lawrence and her imposing Katniss Everdeen, and as fans prepare for the conclusion of Mockingjay in November, they can whet their appetites for the conclusion of another YA trilogy.

The Maze Runner was a decent, albeit muddled attempt at getting the coveted young adult audience interested in another series and its sequel, The Scorch Trials promises more of the mind-blowing storytelling of its predecessor, but is it a success? Continue reading

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