Today, I become a trailblazer for all. What I’m about to do is a first that the world has never seen. I’m going to talk about video games on the internet. My knowledge of video games and rating those is the exact opposite of my knowledge of movies. The most I know about game critique is the fact I’ve watched Zero Punctuation for the last six years. However, I do still play games like NBA2K, Mortal Kombat, Hitman, and Animal Crossing. I enjoy these games, but I recognize that a lot of people don’t. It’s hard for me to defend my position as I don’t know a whole lot on the subject.
But I do know things about movies, and boy does Hollywood try to merge the two a lot! I, as of writing, have seen roughly two dozen video game movies, which range from 4 ½ stars to less than a half star, and I haven’t even seen the really bad ones (Alone in the Dark, Ratchet and Clank, DOA). Upon my research, looking at critic and audience scores, video games are better now than they ever have been before. So why do they still suck so much? Well, I decided to look at three examples of video game movies (The Best, The Worst, and the Blandest) to determine what makes video game movies so awful. Continue reading →
Aficionados of video games might notice something a little odd about this trailer. Mostly, it looks like an actual video game for once. This is, in my opinion, absolutely fantastic, because the main reason video game movies are so terrible is that a lot of video games take their plots from other movies. I already know the planned Uncharted movie is going to be terrible because Uncharted is basically a cheap Indiana Jones, just like how the Hitman films were both terrible Jason Bourne knockoffs. Continue reading →
For the nerds among you, it won’t be a surprise to learn that the video game industry has always had an inferiority complex and has been striving to become like the film industry for years, despite being far more successful. And now, with out-of-control production budgets, a mainstream industry constantly ripping their own customers off and the indie scene becoming dominated by crowd-funding and a lack of quality control, the video game industry has 100% succeeded.
However, now it seems that films want to be like video games. And why not; in comparison to video games, films just suck. There’s no film dealing with the emotional struggle of being an overweight Italian plumber who indulges in magic mushrooms and smashes bricks with his head to get coins, and the world is poorer for it. So cinema is attempting to get its game on, not that anyone appreciates it; Pixelshas been very poorly received and early reviews of Hitman: Agent 47 don’t paint a better picture. So the question needs to ask; has Hollywood ever gotten our video games actually right? Continue reading →