“Second verse, same as the first” John Wick: Chapter 2 review

John Wick: Chapter 2 review – by Rob Stoakes

UK certification: 15

14886217_1040838869357950_851251975_nIt all comes full circle. Long-time readers of this fair website will know that I joined the fold in 2015 and my first review was for a ho-hum little “best action movie in years” called John Wick. Now we just need a sequel to Big Game and a really disappointing Avengers movie and the cycle will begin once again.

But yes, John Wick. One could make a convincing argument that it is the ultimate action movie as far as the nuts and bolts go. It’s got a simple, easy to understand plot that’s set up in less than ten minutes, the protagonist is sympathetic without being soppy and the villains detestable without being unentertaining, the action is crisp and clean and the violence takes place in varied locales with different styles, intensities and spots. So, all those things modern action films have forgotten how to do. Continue reading

“Better than it has any right to be” Ouija: Origin of Evil review

14886217_1040838869357950_851251975_nOuija: Origin of Evil review: by Rob Stoakes

UK Certification: 15

Halloween is over, everyone, and has been for over a week as of time of writing. But now seems to be when the horror movies start to crawl out of the ground. Because of course. And since we live in a world where even xXx is getting a sequel or reboot (seriously, xXx? Really?!) almost all of them are continuations of stories that did not need continuing.

Blair Witch exists thanks to this environment, and there’s that weird sequel to The Ring that’s on the horizon, but while those two were self-contained stories that didn’t need bolting onto, Ouija didn’t need continuing because it sucked like a Dyson Black Hole. Yet another uninspired, paint-by-numbers ghost story with all of the blood and monsters and psychological trauma (you know, things that HORRIFY people) replaced with jump scares. Continue reading

“Do Blairs Witch in the Woods” Blair Witch review

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Written by Rob Stoakes

Oh come on!

I thought video gaming was the realm of terrible, reductive sequel names, what with Thief being the fourth Thief game and Wolfenstein following on from Escape from Castle Wolfenstein 3D, but I guess 2016 is the year that Hollywood catches the same awful virus.

Jason Bourne was the first sign of infection, but now we have Blair Witch as the point it goes terminal. It isn’t even grammatically correct.

“Hello, Mrs Witch? Can Blair come out to play?” Continue reading