“But he’s such a dreamboat, you guys!” Crimson Peak review

CRIMSON PEAK   (UK CERT: 15)

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Music: Fernando Velázquez

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston


Written by Rob Stoakes

Written by Rob Stoakes

If you describe Tom Hiddleston to someone who’s never seen him before, they’d probably never think of him as an incredibly sexy man.

Ratty hair, pale skin, looks like a 12 year old boy, often playing physically unimposing villains who regularly get beaten up by drunk scientists and WWII veterans on steroids, and burdened with the single stupidest headgear in all of comic book history, and no, Loki’s antlers do not translate to the big screen at all. On paper, Tom Hiddleston has all the sex appeal of a stamp collecting snail. And yet whenever he’s on screen, Marvin Gaye starts playing in the back of your mind, if you can hear it over the sounds of women screaming and fainting, and all you want is for Tom Hiddleston to brush your cheek with his supple, ivory fingers as his lips connect with your own, and you fall back, breathless, into his strong, comforting arms as he rests you on the bed and… Continue reading