Beauty & the Beast review: by Adam Brannon
UK certification: PG
Whichever big wig down at Disney decided it would be a good idea to remake all of their animated classics using live-action is surely due a massive promotion. The studio’s reputation is soaring after the acquisition of Marvel and Lucasfilm and this new way of thinking is paying off at the box office.
Last year’s The Jungle Book earned just shy of $1billion worldwide, their Marvel Cinematic Universe has taken upwards of $5billion and don’t get me started on Star Wars. Continuing the studio’s trend of remaking their animated features is Beauty & the Beast, but does this modern day reimagining of a fairly modern classic conjure up memories of 1991? Continue reading
Sing review: by Adam Brannon
UK certification: U
Talking animated animals are big business over in Hollywood. After all, Disney’s Zootopia was one of only a handful of films to gross over $1billion last year. Its competitor, The Secret Life of Pets performed well but wasn’t critically successful.
Here, the company behind that second film, Illumination Entertainment, try to get the genre right with Sing. But are we looking at the next superstar of the animated genre? Continue reading
Moana review: By Rob Stoakes
UK Certification: U
It’s weird how long it took for Hollywood to get Dwayne The Rock The People’s Champion The Brahma Bull The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment It Doesn’t Matter What His Last Name Is right.
After all, here’s a wrestler who wasn’t very good at wrestling but so good at talking and had such good facial expressions that IT DOESN’T MATTER! which the wrestling fans among you read in his iconic shout. So, what’s he used for when he enters Hollywood? Shutting up and scowling.
Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders review: by Rob Stoakes
UK Certification: PG
So some of you may have noticed that I talk about Batman, like, a whole bunch. Meet me in person and you will probably not meet me in person because I’ll be hidden from you. Like Batman.
An orphan who trains in the martial arts to fight crime? Awesome. And the criminals are dark reflections of himself? Awesome. And it’s full of violence and sex and deep philosophical questions about justice and identity? Awesome. And there are stories where Batman is suddenly turned into a tiger or where Robin attacks The Beatles or where alien plants attempt to teach humans love through having incestuous tentacle sex with each other then suddenly dying to the bewilderment of all involved? Continue reading
Adult animation, and I’m including anime in this, is very similar to the horror genre. It is a genre that is full of potential, has a loyal and dedicated fanbase, is a genre filled with many of the greatest films of all time… and about 99.9999999999999999999999998% is as tolerable and pleasant as sewage water being poured into a mouth ulcer.
The great animated films for adults made outside of Japan can be counted on your hands, and the ones made in Japan can be counted on the hands of any loved one you might have to hand. That list will include everything ever made by Laika. Ok, so they release a film as frequently as Haley’s Comet turning into a cheese wheel and they’re still child-friendly, but damn if those films aren’t worth the wait. When you start your existence as a studio with Coraline, you’re something us mere mortals are only allowed to appreciate in fleeting glimpses. Continue reading