Bloodshot review “The least of anyone’s problems at the moment”


Bloodshot movie posterBloodshot is available to stream online in the UK (from £9.99) and the US ($20) via Amazon Prime Video

Oh, Vin Diesel. Why are you famous? Also known as the Americanized Jason Statham, replacing charisma with mumbling something-something family. This feels like a movie Statham would have been asked to do about fifteen years ago. Bloodshot, the story of a recently deceased soldier who comes back to life, is one of the three movies which won the honor of being in the last week of releases until mid May.

So, in a year still without a really good comic book film, does Bloodshot manage to fill the gap before we’re left without one for months? Honestly, the answer is pretty surprising, as I think with a few changes, this movie could have been great. So let’s discuss the movie that tens of people are talking about, Bloodshot. 

So, this movie has a few decent things about it, first and foremost being the storytelling. It manages to feel extremely quick. With a runtime of 109 minutes, it goes by relatively quickly, with very little fluff around the action. While the film does leave a lot to be desired when it comes to it’s ending, the rest of the film manages to be decently entertaining.

I suspect that the movie could have been perceived a lot better if they didn’t put the twist of the film into the trailer. While it is extremely predictable as Guy Pearce always plays a bad guy, it would have been nice to be able to put the pieces together without any guidance from a mediocre trailer. It’s a story that’s been told seemingly a thousand times before, but I managed to be decently entertained by it for the duration.

Still from Bloodshot

© Sony Pictures Entertainment

Umm… the action’s decent, I guess. I thought one or two bits of it like the sneezing nanobots that kill people was cool, mainly because other much better movies did it first two years ago. There are a lot of cool moments besides that, as Vin Diesel catches grenades, and then blows up other things. Guys, Bloodshot is decent, but I have a feeling no one cares about a Vin Diesel film that’s PG-13 that’s basically just the crappy studio version of Upgrade.

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a little something called COVID-19 going around, which has led to the cancellation of many events, such as sports, movies, and the fun stuff for graduating seniors including Senior Skip Day, Prom, and Graduation. So, due to the fact that I’ve been furloughed for a week and a half now, here’s a brief rundown of the newly made available films on demand that you should watch.

The Hunt

A so-so film that falls prey to the Vice and Bombshell technique of both-siderism, as this film not only refuses to take a political stance, it also refuses to have a clear message. I think if you manage to look past the politics of it all and just focus in on Betty Gilpin’s great performance, you have enough to maybe justify the rental price.

Trolls: World Tour

While I admittedly haven’t seen the original Trolls, Trolls: Infinity War (I swear they have the exact same plot) is an incredibly bland film that funny enough, has a political stance, calling for open borders. Anyway, the music is fine, the animation does look nice, but having seen it just this morning, it’s hard to remember a single thing about this movie. If your kids are tired of Frozen 2, maybe throw this rental in there.

The Way Back

The third and final film I want to talk about is the best of the three. As a big basketball fan, The Way Back manages to do things. It’s a good comeback story about a coach that manages to get a school to return to its former glory. Then it ends and becomes an even better film about addiction and finding happiness. At its center is a fantastic performance from Ben Affleck, who is doing his best impression of Casey in Manchester by the Sea. A fantastic film and entirely justifiable in renting.

Well, I suppose that wraps up this review. I should probably finish with something on Bloodshot. It’s entirely predictable, the henchmen are forgettable, but the action is cool enough that I’d say rent it if the quarantine has driven you to the point of madness. You could also just play Doom: Eternal, as it feels like a video game cutscene. I kept waiting for the theatre ushers to come in and hand me a controller. So that ends this review, and remember: stay safe, don’t lick subway poles, and just rent Knives Out.

⭐ ⭐

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